The Benefits of Being an Outsider
Independence, observations, creativity
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash
I always felt an outsider. J. K. Rowling
I feel like an outsider, and I always will feel like one. I’ve always felt that I wasn’t a member of any particular group. Anne Rice
As a kid I just felt like an outsider. Marilyn Manson
I’ve felt like an outsider for most of my life. While there are negative aspects to always being an outsider, there are also positive benefits to being on the outside looking in instead of being a part of a group.
While there were times when I thought that belonging was what I wanted, I realize now that being on the outside has helped shape who I am. I am thankful for having been an observer rather than an accepted participant in the groups where I often stood on the edge and just watched.
Independence
One positive benefit of being an outsider is the independence gained by not being part of a group. Except for the leader who controls others, being part of a group requires conformity. Group pressure or peer pressure can lead one to do things they would not choose to do on their own. Part of the price for belonging is doing what you are told or expected to do as a member of the in group.
As an outsider, you are free to make your own choices about what to wear, what music to listen to, what to think, what books to read, how to act. Being a part of some groups entails giving up things you see no harm in, but the group tells you it is wrong. Fear of rejection by the group can lead you to become a follower who obeys the group norms rather than a person who guides their own life.
If you are an outsider, you get to choose your own path. Being separate from the group frees you from conforming to what others deem is best. What you do with your life, what activities you take part in, what you believe is up to you. You can blaze trails or wander off to a quiet place that makes you happy. You don’t have to worry about what ‘they” think. You get to do you.
Observation
Another benefit of being an outside is the opportunity to observe individuals and groups. You observe their behaviors and see the power dynamics of a group. You observe how they keep the group in line, often with the threat of exclusion.
You can observe the psychological effects the group has on individual members and both the strengths and weaknesses of the group. You will likely learn valuable lessons by observing others. You can determine the group’s values, the hierarchy of members, perhaps a changing power structure.
You can see how the group interacts with individuals and how they interact with other groups. Are they competitive? Do they have a positive influence or negative impact on others?
Observing as an outsider gives you the opportunity to analyze situations, information, beliefs, and relationships. Often you will learn what not to do as well as what is best to do.
Creativity
As an artist you actually do have to make a choice to be an outsider. If you’re an outsider you have the freedom to say what people on the inside don’t dare to say. Connie Nielsen
Whether you create with words, music, song, paint, clay, marble, or acting, expressing your own ideas is necessary for artists rather than listening to what others say. It is the still small voice of inspiration inside you that you must listen to rather than what the group tells you.
Those who are not part of groups often have more time to devote to personal interests such as writing, art, decorating, or other activities that require concentration on their own work.
Many writers have been outcasts and loners who did not belong. I’ve been listening to an audio book about Harper Lee who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird. She was different and her peers rejected her. She was an outsider who didn’t mix well with people, but she was a keen observer who used her experiences and observations to write a bestselling novel.
She was a loner who had only a few friends. As a child she didn’t really mind being alone because she shared nothing in common with the other children except for one friend who was an even greater outsider than she was. When she was an adult, she didn’t really mind being alone because it gave her time to work at her writing.
She had no desire to marry or raise a family. If she had, it is likely that her novel likely would never have been written. If she had belonged to a group who influenced her thinking, she might have absorbed the advice and ideas of those around her instead of writing what she knew.
If she had not been a loner, she likely would not have been such a keen observer of life in a small town. Instead of analyzing the society in the small town she grew up in, she would have been part of them and of the same mind as everyone else instead of seeing life from the unique perspective from which she wrote her novel.
Most people become outsiders due to rejection from others whether family or society or members of their age group. Becoming an outsider can begin in infancy if a child receives little attention from the mother or alternate caregiver. They don’t fit in with their peers because of their appearance, personality, social class, intellect, or other issues that separate them from the norms of the group.
Not every outsider feels lonely. Many are quite satisfied being alone. They don’t want to fit in. They enjoy being different and being free from the pressure to conform. If you are not concerned about fitting in, then you are free to be who you are instead of who or what people expect you to be.
Even now, I often feel like someone outside the circle, always different, always not quite accepted, always at an arm’s distance from others. Yet, I am grateful for the outsider experience.
It has given me compassion for others who are left out. It has made me more aware of other people and things going on around me since I am on the outer edge rather than in the center of activity. This gives me a different perspective.
Being on the outside inspires me to write. Writing comes pretty naturally to many “outsiders.” It is a way to process our thoughts and beliefs, a way to be our own person.
As you can see, there are positive benefits to being an outsider: independence, the opportunity for observation, and inspiration for creativity.
So if you are one of us outsiders, take advantage of the situation.